Of Marriage and Monkeys

So....Conor and I are getting fairly tired of marriage proposals....

It can be startling or funny the first time, but after a two weeks (and someone asks to marry us at least once every two days) its down right frustrating. Whether its an attempt to get under our sarongs or they believe it will get them a visa, or any other reason, it is terribly annoying.

This annoys us for a variety of reasons...starting with not wanting to marry any of our proposed suitors in the first place (these are often random people off the street that we have never met before or were just introduced to), the being unable to find a good response to it (rudeness is a big no no in Ghana and we haven't been able to get a clear answer as to what someone's intentions might be so we don't know where the overkill line is) and ending with absolute inauthenticity of it all....and so many other reasons. Right now, our only for sure overkill line is any type of pressure or an attempt to touch us, which has never happened, but would end with a solid bop in the nose (Conor informs me that if I ever were to hit a man, because I am a woman, they would be so utterly flabbergasted and shocked).

We have attempted, rejected, planned and debated various responses to these proposals, but they all come off in a uber polite Canadian way, or they are switched to politer versions. Some of these include:

-laughing uproariously (tried this)
-smiling and politely rejecting (tried this)
-joking back that I would make a terrible wife (tried this)
-claiming to be engaged and/or married (tried this)
-changing the subject (tried this)
-explaining that it is rude
-correcting them and explaining that they don't love me, they just met me (tried this)
-exclaiming that they just met me (tried this)
-yelling that they just met me and to leave immediately (Conor did this on her last trip when a man was harassing her in her hospital room)
-explaining that I can't pound fufu (a kind of food that requires many muscles in the torso to make) (tried this)
-explaining that I castrate men
-explaining that I can't pound fufu AND castrate men
-explaining that a Canadian tradition is to tie a string to the husband's penis and for me to hold the other end of the string while I am in labour
-saying no (tried this)
-rolling our eyes
-saying I want to be a Catholic sister
-pointing to another man and joke that he is already my husband (tried this)
-get really excited and attempt to drag them off to a chapel then and there
-buying a shirt that says "I castrate men" across the chest
-suggesting that one of the many goats that wander around loose everywhere might be a better time than I

Most of these responses are too rude for us to use at the moment....but its gotten to a point where we're more frustrated and deciphering that this might not even be polite by their standards. we asked a Ghanaian woman about and she explained that women don't like it, but its never good to be rude and therefore the best method is distraction or avoiding the subject. As much this idea bothers me on many levels, we mostly do that....but enough is slowly but surely becoming enough. The one about the Canadian labour tradition and the penis will be my next one. I will let you know how it goes.

In other better and more happier news (!!!), the carpenters met and started yesterday, they worked all day long and didn't leave until dark. The reparations and the finishing of the roof is already done! Its amazing! I also have pictures but I need to find away to get them on the internet soon. Its so beautiful and really makes a big difference. Everyone is thrilled with the progress! Conor and I are now on the hunt for books around the local area.

Also other news, Conor and I left the village for the weekend and visited Peki and Taffi Atome. Peki is another beautiful town where we visited Vero's family but Taffi Atome has a monkey sanctuary! The monkey sanctuary was started as an ecotourism project that a) saved an endangered species, b) increased the local economy and c) stimulated some terrific development in Taffi's town. Taffi is a small town and the jungle of the preserve circles all the way behind it. The monkeys are quite tame and friendly. They ate out of our hands and scared the boogers out of a small child that was with us. The response of the child was to shimmy up me in terror, sit on my head and lobbed his banana at the monkeys (who snatched it up happily, fought over it and gobbled it up quickly).

As week two ends, Conor and I also find ourselves dreaming of luxuries we had sorely taken for granted, including steak spice, non lipton tea, non Ghanaian bread, milk, cheese and Original Series Star Trek DVDs....

I may wait for another day to explain our food situation, although Conor gets into part of it (and more library details) on her blog...make sure to check it out! I think I added the link a few posts before. While I will add that the food here is very dlicious, it is mostly all the same, and the things that they consider Western are nothing like what I know at home. It will suffice for now to explain that every good Ghanaian style meal consists of three parts, a) boiled (and occasionally fermented) yam or corn meal, used to scrap up a b) tomato based sauce of some kind (which is quite delicious) with some kiind of c) meat cooked into it (gristly, bony parts of chicken, goat or fish) of which apparently Ghanaians eat to the entirety (bones and gristle included...I didn't realise this until someone asked why I kept leaving the bones). The food is really good, but almost every true blue meal has consisted of this yummy substance...and I never knew my stomach could be opposed to this. Its wonderful, but Conor and I are still working on the whole adaptation process.

In the meantime, we are now back in the village, with hoards of friends and lovely people who don't usually ask us to marry them (this not a problem in the village 8 times out of 10). We are making friends quickly, learning lots of Ewe and the library is speeding along in construction.

I hope all is well with all of you!

-The Jessicat